#the-Lara-inn
The 101 OryxRules©
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Gorean channel on Bondage, Dalnet, and Austnet,
located in the lovely riverport city of Lara.
based on
The Chronicles of Counter-Earth
by John Norman
Last Updated: 2010-06-10 -+- 23, 3rd of the 2nd Hand of the Month of Selnar 10,161 Contasta Ar
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This is the definitive list of the famous OryxRules©, the 101 (about) short, pithy statements expressing Oryx's accumulated wisdom and experience. You may view any rule in tLi by typing !rule [<rule number> | <word(s) in the rule>] and letting Shrek (the bot) find it for you. You may agree; you may be offended; you may just laugh, and let the insane wander about in the garden: but no one fails to find applicable ideas in this list. Where I have appropriated (quoted) from someone else, I have indicated (and linked) the source. I have made every effort to give complete credit where credit is due. Like any other website, this one is a work in progress. Those items without content are incomplete and 'in the works'. We will be adding new OryxRules often, so please check back. We are always delighted with suggestions and thoughts, which may be emailed to us at Oryx@Loryx.com. Enjoy your stay! |
| # | Rule | |||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 01 | Do NOT Piss Off Master. Ever. Don't even THINK about it. | |||
| 02 | A kajira has three duties, in this order: be pleasing, be obedient, and be pretty | |||
| 03 | A kajira is loyal to her heart. | |||
| 04 | NEVER delete logs | |||
| 05 | DON'T -- whatever you do -- underestimate the effects of pissing off a Gorean Master | |||
| 06 | ANY Free may punish ANY slave at ANY time for ANY reason... or none | |||
| 07 | The only "stupid" question is one you don't ask | |||
| 08 | Be careful what you beg for, you MAY get it. | |||
| 09 | Human beings do not have the psychic ability to learn something just by wishing we knew it. Watching others doing things is not even close to learning by doing yourself. And READING the damn Scrolls. [Kyrerus' "Professor & Mary-Anne" Principle][2] | |||
| 10 | When all else fails, blame the slave | |||
| 11 | All training is emotion, visceral, vital: otherwise, it's merely teaching | |||
| 12 | Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to getcha | |||
| 13 | When you need to distract, ALWAYS invoke Oryx | |||
| 14 | Never ask Oryx an either-or question | |||
| 15 |
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| 16 | Don't rent space in your mind to assholes | |||
| 17 | Don't hang out with depressed people, they'll rub off on you | |||
| 18 | Never put off for tomorrow, what the slave can do for you now | |||
| 19 | If it doesn't feel right, it most probably isn't | |||
| 20 | A slave mentality accepts others' rules and ideas; a Master mentality chooses that which fits his own | |||
| 21 | No slave may judge herself; she necessarily sees only her imperfections, and thus lies to herself, while her Master sees all of her | |||
| 22 | A kajira changes her nature per her Master's desires | |||
| 23 | Never get in the way between a Master and his slut | |||
| 24 | A full mouth is a happy mouth ... assuming she swallows | |||
| 25 | R/l always wins | |||
| 29 | Always beware of a Norwegian in heat | |||
| 30 | Contend not with the stupid, lest you become as they [RKM[3]] | |||
| 32 | In yarn and paint chips, matching colors never do. | |||
| 33 | (shayia's principle) Don't smack the slave in the head, while she's giving you head: teeth hurt. | |||
| 34 | Never, but NEVER, get involved with bad cars | |||
| 35 | Always cut cards | |||
| 36 | You touched it, you own it. | |||
| 37 | Reality works... when you use it. | |||
| 38 | Sometimes, love is not only blind, it's deaf, dumb, and autistic | |||
| 39 | When you gaze into the Internet, the Internet gazes into you [RKM[3]] | |||
| 40 | Always use KISS methodology: Keep It Simple, Sam | |||
| 41 | One ponders the irony of discussing the moralities of theft near a man of Port Kar. [Kyr's Conundrum] | |||
| 42 | Things acquired without effort, are lost without effort too [3rd Principle of faith] | |||
| 43 | Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. | |||
| 44 | If the channel topic was set by a slave, the channel may be less Gorean than they claim to be | |||
| 45 | Don't bother trying to teach a mule to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the mule. | |||
| 46 | Coddling a kajira is the cruelest thing an Owner can do [esme's conundrum] | |||
| 47 | You reap what you sow, but you may rip what you sew [tovah's Principle of Inversion] | |||
| 48 | Always wait for the THIRD gag line to label "sick" | |||
| 49 | Crappy starts are the best, cause there's no way but up [Fury's Axiom] | |||
| 50 | Pillage, *then* Burn [SHOHEP #1[1]] | |||
| 51 | Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth. [SHOHEP #26[1]] | |||
| 52 | RESERVED | |||
| 53 | Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence. [SHOHEP #27[1]] | |||
| 54 | If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun. [SHOHEP #34[1]] | |||
| 55 | RESERVED | |||
| 56 | A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go. [SHOHEP #30[1]] | |||
| 57 | There is no "overkill." There is only "open fire" and "I need to reload." [SHOHEP #37[1]] | |||
| 58 | RESERVED | |||
| 59 | RESERVED | |||
| 60 | Consistency is only a virtue if you're not a screwup | |||
| 61 | CHAOS: No matter how hard your puny efforts to impose order on this mess, you are doomed to fail | |||
| 62 | When in doubt, choose the easy way. In fact, 'go easy' even if you're not in doubt. | |||
| 63 | There is no true learning without confusion. | |||
| 64 | You can't fix stupid [tovah's principle] | |||
| 65 | Death Before Conformity | |||
| 66 | Never present a bill to a Karian, a Schendian, or a Kasran when they're not drunk, drugged, or sexually replete. | |||
| 67 | Best to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt. (Mark Twain) | |||
| 68 | When all else fails, never hesitate to resort to Chaos | |||
| 69 | First rule when collaring a new girl: ensure alternate communication channels (email, IM, telephone) before the collar goes on | |||
| 70 | No one's much fun till they've had their morning caffein fix. | |||
| 71 | Don't read others' thoughts, you may discover yourself in there | |||
| 72 | Bowls are for serving animals and slaves. Men drink from cups, goblets, or tankards; and Women, through a reed | |||
| 73 | People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be [milovane's Lincolnism] | |||
| 74 | One does not HAVE to kill... but... some are much better as food than consuming it :) [Kyr's Rule] | |||
| 75 | "Your mistakes are the only things you can truly call your own" -- Billy Joel | |||
| 76 | Gotta beat the eggs before you can make an omlette; gotta beat the girl before you can make a kajira [lygea's lesson] | |||
| 77 | The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. | |||
| 78 | slaves don't rub butts -- MASTERs rub slave butts | |||
| 79 | Hope springs eternal... and springs... and springs... | |||
| 80 | A kajira begging is a kajira at her most appealing. | |||
| 81 | The consciousness of "self" is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action. JKD[4]] | |||
| 82 | To reach Me, you must move to Me. Your approach offers Me an opportunity to enjoy you. JKD[4]] | |||
| 83 | Search your own experience for the truth, absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is specifically your own JKD[4]] | |||
| 84 | The usefulness of a cup is its emptiness JKD[4]] | |||
| 85 | Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it. You don't grow unless you go out of the confines of your own system. It is from the old we get security, and the new that we get growth. JKD[4]] | |||
| 86 | Circumstances must dictate what you do JKD[4]] | |||
| 87 | To dance as a kajira, empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow, or it can crash! Be water, my girl! JKD[4]] | |||
| 88 | Goreans Master their habits, as well as their women; they do not allow either to top them | |||
| 89 | You can put out a fire with water, gasoline, or with nitroglycerin: now, you tell Me which is the most fun. | |||
| 90 | "Whoever needs to know, knows; whoever doesn't know, doesn't need to." [~~Yitzhak Shamir, former Israeli Prime Minister] | |||
| 91 | There is no try; there is just do or fail | |||
| 92 | NEVER discuss Friedrich Nietzsche before coffee | |||
| 93 | Always trust a Laran to give you a disturbing, chaotic frame of mind | |||
| 94 | you win some, you lose some, and some get rained out | |||
| 95 | *Not* knowing is the gate to knowledge | |||
| 96 | The best way to win an argument with a fool is to shut up and LET the idiot have the last word. And smile sweetly afterwards. | |||
| 97 | If it sounds too good to be true... it probably is. | |||
| 98 | Master until proven pussy [Modred's Mantra] | |||
| 99 | Don't get angry until you have a reason: all that nice juicy rage is a terrible thing to waste! | |||
| 100 | When a slave begs, it must be with all her heart, all her mind, all her soul; otherwise, it's just words. [milovane's lemma] | |||
| 101 | ALWAYS listen to littlewing -- the gonads you save may be your own | |||
| 102 | ||||
| 103 | ||||
| 104 | ||||
| 105 | ||||
| 106 | ||||
| 107 | ||||
| 108 | ||||
| 109 | ||||
| 110 | ||||
| 111 | ||||
| 112 | Any place that kicks for "respect" reasons is run by a woman [the StormBringer Sycophantism] | |||
| 113 | A slave's misbehavior is rarely her fault; rather her poor or noneexistant training, or her worse lack of Mastering | |||
| 114 | Don't EVER hesitate or push off punishing a slave: it ruins the slave, and destroys any relationship you have with her | |||
| 115 | A Scribe's Honor is His Silence. | |||
| 116 | Free Women are Angels. And when someone breaks their wings... they simply continue to fly... on their broomstick [tovah's Freewoman Fatalism] | |||
| 117 | ||||
| 118 | ||||
| 119 | Why hurt their kneecaps when you can fuck with their heads? |