I really have no idea where to begin with this, as sometimes, describing an entire philosophy or lifestyle is so very complex. The only thing I can say is, this essay is from a personal prospective of one free woman who tries her best to simply live her life.

Long before I knew of a set of science fiction novels known as the Gor series, I was always a political conservative, a Darwinist (in some measures) and I was raised on the basic ethos of the natural order. I speak not of slavery here at all, but of how I was raised in a free society and eventually discovered that set of novels that would change me a little bit.

Growing up in the 1970's and 80's, my family life was what was considered backwards or so very, 'Leave it to Beaver'. My father, a good, honest, hardworking, loving, generous and not to mention very strong man, worked for a living while my somewhat subservient mother stayed home and tended to the house, and raised my brother and I. I can remember the lessons I learned very early on from both mom and dad, many that coincide with the philosophies within the novels. My parents taught me basic things such as accountability, standing up for what you believe in, compassion and an understanding that our life, though we weren't rich and at many times struggled, was the best environment to raise children if it was at all possible. (Compassion isn't always a given in the books, but if you think about it, it does help in life and compassion in no way, shape or form necessarily mean weakness)

I did have my setbacks along the way and like many teenagers and young adults, I really made some very poor choices in life and ended up in a bad situation more than once. I suppose that it was in the passing of my father that I finally realized that life is too short to be a screw up all the time, and something in me just clicked. Finally, I pulled myself up and got myself together and stood proud of who I am and eventually, my feet set on the right path, I was blessed with my husband.

I had been married and divorced before, but not to someone that I could really depend on, someone that I considered to be a man. He was male, but he really wasn't a man. He had no clue how to take care of a family because, he could hardly take care of himself. I suppose that when I married him, I thought that maybe he would step up to the plate if I needed him to. He did, talk a really good game, he just never followed through with anything. After a while, I simply walked out.

Failed relationship, after failed relationship, and I will be the first to admit, I was just as much at fault. I think a part of me knew that I needed strength in a man, but from what society (not mom and dad) taught me, that sort of thing was way outdated and not a necessity. Eventually, I ended up finding a new job and on my first day of work, there he was, my husband to be (though I would have never known it). Something about him just really attracted me to him, it was his strength, the way he carried himself, the way he knew where to pick his battles and where to just not bother. So many things about him.

Within a year and a half, we found ourselves at the altar and getting married. Big surprise for both of us. What was really funny here, is that I am submissive to him and it's a very natural thing. He makes the final major decisions in our household and each of us have our specific roles. I work part time, for spending money, but I am the wife, the lover, the companion, the mother, the caregiver, etc. I had no idea at that time that I was living something that was similar to a free companionship.

Fast forward a bit here. So, eventually, I found myself online, I was very fascinated by the internet and chat. Simply being able to talk to someone around the globe or a group of people was amazing to me. I think I may have stumbled into a Gor room long ago, but I had no idea what it was and well, they weren't very nice. It took a long, long time for me to finally really get curious about it and start reading websites, then started reading the books. I eventually made my way to the Gor rooms once I had read the first 9 in the series as I didn't want to sound like an idiot or something.

When I first arrived, I found myself in Basharr's Den. Basharr was still quite new himself and after spending some time there, Basharr knew that I had been reading and after a few weeks of my being around a lot (between fishing trips) he took a very big leap of faith and appointed me as his keeper. What a tough job that was and really, I was very green and hadn't earned my place in the Gor rooms yet and looking back on, how vain and full of myself I was to expect to just be welcomed into the fold simply because I had read some of the books. I have to almost laugh at how clueless I really was. Eventually, because of the cluelessness and for simply wanting to take a break, I did leave the Den and take a break from chat.

Of course, I'm back now, and in the PIC which I love that room. I am surrounded with strength. Not just the men of the Inn, but the visitors that come in, men and women that I admire and look up to. I suppose what I've learned from these people is to simply be myself. What was really hard for me to understand at first was that if I simply just concentrate on being me, the rest will fall into place. A large part of what I perceive the Gorean ethos to be, is that people are expected to be who they are without compromise. If you are a male, do not settle for simply being male; be a man and nothing less. If you are a woman, then be just that, a woman. If you screw up, own it, make no excuses but deal with it and move on with the act of simply living. I have to really thank Dangrus and Digenes for being the role models they are in doing just that, living their lives.

If men will be men, the women will then better understand their place. I've been told time and time again that Gor is a man's world. Yes it is, but the key is a man's world. Just because someone has male parts, doesn't make him a man. There's a big difference between the two. It's quite unfortunate that today's society tries to oppress men and tries to defy natural order. I suppose that's one thing that Gor has brought to me, a better understanding how things were meant to be according to nature. I have to say that in some respects, it gives me hope.

Until next time………..       Ladorria